Re: What are you going to do? « Result #1 on Dec 6, 2009, 3:22am »
Greetings,
It's been a long time once again, but I always find myself coming back to this ministry. I really don't know if anyone can relate, I am not in a ministry haven't been for some years. I don't say this as a disclaimer it is simply a statement of fact. I hesitate to write not for fear just searching for answers that seem to elude me in this hour. You know me as "Phoebe" and I've always enjoyed sharing with you. I've been reading the posts here and I am a bit saddened not by the post but that I just can't relate to any of the subjects. I am in a such a different place. I feel like I am in the valley of dry bones. I know the L ord is with me but he only has few words for me and that's okay it would be overwhelming if he stopped speaking to me. My faith has never waivered nor will it. I live move and have my being in HIM. I may me rambling but I am just searching for something and there are no words to describe it. What am I going to do?
It is a blessing that I can come to this place after many years and find you here. God Bless.
Joined: May 2003 Gender: Female Posts: 141 Location: Atlanta, GA
Re: Taking the blinders off « Result #2 on Dec 3, 2009, 2:02pm »
Since the last time that I posted, hell has been breaking lose all around me. I guess I should have realized that because when you are trying to be free and delivered from things that has had you bound for so many years, of course it is not going to come easy. How many know though, that anything worth having, you are going to have to fight for it. I hard a sermon preached when I was a teenager from the bible verse, weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. From then until now, I had been holding on to the fact that my morning was going to come. Way down in my heart, I have been longing for the day that I can say that my morning has finally come. I had to get to a point where I realized that it was a process. I didn't get this way overnight so it was not going to change overnight.
Since I have posted last, I have separated from my husband, been attacked in my body physically and at times emotionally, and ready to put my son out of my house. I am at a place where I had to realize that I could either continue to live my life in default mode or I could choose to live my life on purpose. For years, I have always lived my life based on what others said or wanted and somewhere along the line, I lost myself and who I am in the midst. Then being in leadership and being under the microscope on top of that has been a doosy.(sp?)
Talk about church hurt on top of all of that...lol. When I separated from my husband, I did not tell anyone that I had separated except my Pastor and the elder. I decided not to share with anyone else because I did not feel obligated to tell anyone else. So many assumptions manifested as a result of the separation. The sideway glances, people cringing if I prayed and said something about marriage, individuals breaking their necks to see how I reacted when I walked in a room that he was already in, people constantly trying to read me and tell me how much of a good husband I have and should not allow other people to come between my marriage. There were times that I sat in church and would be praying to God for His strength that He would keep me. Times that I had to remind myself that I was not there for the people but to do a work for the Lord. Times that I felt inadequate, jacked up and depressed because I felt like it was in possible for me to be effective in the kingdom of God with all that I had going on in my life.
On top of that, I love my son, but he is making a conscious decision to disrespect my home by bringing drugs and a gun in my home. As much as I love him, I am ready for him to go on. I am praying for a job and for the opportunity to come for him to get his GED so that he can get himself financially established to move out. He is loving, but I cannot deal with that extracurricular activities.
My health has been affected by all that has been going on, especially with my blood pressure going out of control. I often say that I just need a place of refuge to go to get myself together and just focus on me. I also realized the importance of forgiveness and the toll unforgiveness and bitterness could have on your body. It can literally eat away at you like cancer.
In the midst of everything, I have been seeking the face of God like never before. I have been asking God to show me myself and those areas within me that need to be cleaned up or that He was not pleased with. See I know that I am not a person without faults and so I had to be honest with myself that I have issues and then had to be willing to address those issues as the Lord revealed them to me. One darkside that I realized that I had and it has been choking the life out of me slowly is the sexual abuse, molestation and rape that I have endured throughout my life. It has taken a tool on me more than I realized. It is easy for me to write those words, but to hear someone say those words in my presence or for me to verbalize those words is so difficult. That is an area that I am ready to be fully delivered in because it has held me back for way too long.
Stripping off the masks has been the most difficult because it has been my security for so long. It has been my way of coping and even in a sense, my way of protecting myself, but at some point, I had to realize that God is my ultimate protector and healer and that He is able to do far exceedingly above anything that I could ever ask or think.
Regardless of what I have to go through to reach my destiny, it is still at whatever the cost.
Joined: May 2003 Gender: Female Posts: 141 Location: Atlanta, GA
Re: Sex Offenders « Result #3 on Dec 3, 2009, 1:31pm »
Wow, that is something about the attack on the female officer. Sexual offense is a touchy subject. I do have a problem that anything involving genitalia is all put into one category because there are different levels of offense. I believe that the laws need to be revamped. I also believe that there needs to be more programs and services put in place to help sex offenders. It is bad enough that many that have committed a crime against a child, often go to jail or prison and be victimized repeatedly, so it is as if they are being punished twice. Then you have those that are remorseful versus those that have no remorse and would do it again at the drop of a dime. You have those that hurt others or victimize others because they were themselves victimized or hurt.
As far as the children are concerned and the way that they are learning so many things. It goes back to "it takes a village to raise a child." Somewhere along the way, the ball has been dropped and the values and morals that people once had seems to have diminished. We all have the ability to effect positive social and spiritual change. It is going to take more tarrying and praying until we see changes taking place.
Joined: Jul 2005 Gender: Female Posts: 73 Location: Detroit, MI
Re: Untitled « Result #4 on Aug 31, 2009, 9:00am »
No one else--outside of my mom--had too many injuries. Sydnie scraped her knee, and the other girls got some scratches from glass. Kevin, Jr. didn't have a single scratch on him.
I was in Kentucky since March and hadn't seen any of them since then. My mom says that Symara started saying some pretty spiritually intense things in the last month she lived here. One particular saying has us all in wonder of God's ability to reveal His will. Sym said:
"I see a portal. Behind the portal is a lot of light. I know God is there, but I can't see Him. I want to go to that light. There are treasures there...treasures and diamonds there...but I can't tell you what they are."
Joined: Jul 2005 Gender: Female Posts: 73 Location: Detroit, MI
Untitled « Result #5 on Aug 30, 2009, 6:37pm »
It's funny how life changes things in a split second...how a couple of hours make all the difference in the world. On August 13th, 2009, my (god)mom, and sisters along w/my 5 mo. old brother left Atlanta to come to Detroit for the premiere of my play. Around 8 o'clock or so, they were coming out of Knoxville into Jellico, Tennessee when my mom veered into the right lane. Trying to correct herself, she swerved too hard and the truck flipped over--throwing my 4 year old sister from the car. It slid for about 8 feet or so, and when it came to a stop, my mom's hand was busted up pretty badly along w/her leg. And my four year old sister, Symara, was taken into the arms of God.
Ok...wow typing that took a lot out of me. I'll come back and finish soon. Pray for us.
KEW Administrator Founder, Adullam Ministries member is offline
Whatever it is, God is more.
Joined: Jan 2003 Gender: Female Posts: 3,955 Location: Muncie, Indiana USA
Right Shoes Right Feet « Result #6 on Aug 30, 2009, 10:19am »
Every once in awhile I take time to bless the Lord for allowing me to have a sound mind. It did not have to turn out this way. My shoes are on the right feet. Hallelujah! I know who I am. I know my name and can give out my address and phone number. I go to work and put my checks in the bank. I drive where I need to go. And on and on the testimony can go...........
Above all else, stay humble, repent when necessary, apologize and be at peace. Give God the glory. Walk in praise. Let your life be your greatest sound of worship. Appreciate family. Say please and thank you. Prayer is really the most important thing. Pray.
KEW Administrator Founder, Adullam Ministries member is offline
Whatever it is, God is more.
Joined: Jan 2003 Gender: Female Posts: 3,955 Location: Muncie, Indiana USA
Re: Sex Offenders « Result #7 on Aug 30, 2009, 10:16am »
Unfortunately, a sex offender in the facility where I volunteer attacked a female officer by hiding in a restroom. He said demons told him to attack. He admitted that he had been watching several staff for a few months and waited until opportunity came for him. Her screaming brought help before a sexual attack actually took place, but she took a beating from the inmate. After he was caught, he said God told him to confess. My, my, my..............
Above all else, stay humble, repent when necessary, apologize and be at peace. Give God the glory. Walk in praise. Let your life be your greatest sound of worship. Appreciate family. Say please and thank you. Prayer is really the most important thing. Pray.
Above all else, stay humble, repent when necessary, apologize and be at peace. Give God the glory. Walk in praise. Let your life be your greatest sound of worship. Appreciate family. Say please and thank you. Prayer is really the most important thing. Pray.
Re: Sex Offenders « Result #9 on Jul 13, 2009, 3:30pm »
Well since you asked, I guess I'll chime in with my two bits. You are so on point with the nation being so sexualized in so many different ways. The balance will be increasingly difficult to strike particularly when kids as young as 8 years old actually simulate sexual acts through dance, repeating sexual lyrics to songs and having the "option" of homosexuality rammed down their throats.
Don't get me wrong, sexual crimes against minors are just plain wrong, even though teens or pre-teens may be precocious. If you're older you should know better....ummm at least that's what I thought.
Imagine being about the age of 16 right now. Both males and females are more encouraged to have sex than to abstain. A 16 year old boy with a 12 year old girl from "around the way" seems normal because she's thick, can shake it the way she learned from the video or from what she saw her mom do.
The 16 yr old boy is taught from his peers to "hit that" just like the song says and the video shows and often what his daddy and uncle encourage him to do.
Outside of the blatant sexual offenses like a 30yr old man molesting a 5 yr old girl or a 25 year old female high school teacher sleeping with her 15yr old student, the lines are so skewed it is ridiculous.
A man peeing in public is not necessarily a sexual offense. Putting the act up on YouTube may be something completely different.
Even though we have laws against sexual offenses, one might suggest it may be better to go back to the moral days of old when T.V. shut off at 10:00 p.m. and the word "sex" was never used.
But let's digress for a bit, if we went back to the days of old, would that cause sexual deviancy to increase in a hidden manner? Or is it best that we remain sexually revolutionized?
I have mixed feelings about sex offenses, however I believe that far too many offenses have been unfairly catagorized as sexual offenses, or worst yet those that have done their time are continually ostrisized by laws such as "Megan Law".
Oh and let not forget the spiritual aspects....sexual spirits are the ones that seemt to be ever lurking waiting to open a door in which to attach themselves. Nowadays that could be simply watching a news clip.
Sigh....KEW you offer some profound points of discussions. I'm sure you're able to see things from a different perspective particularly by working with the prison population.
It's hard to forgive a sex offender even if they've paid their debt to society. When was the last time anyone heard testimony from a reformed/repentant/delivered child molester? I often ask my preacher friends if there is "room at the Cross" for molesters.
As you pointed out, many are convicted of sex crimes that are not really sex crimes. Others are victims of someone else's venom because of "teenage-to-teenage" sex, and yet the most egregious offenders give all of them reasons to never be forgiven, vindicated and at best delivered.
This is a tough topic, yet I admire your willingness to brave it and open the door to futher dialogue.
KEW Administrator Founder, Adullam Ministries member is offline
Whatever it is, God is more.
Joined: Jan 2003 Gender: Female Posts: 3,955 Location: Muncie, Indiana USA
Sex Offenders « Result #10 on Jul 11, 2009, 9:24am »
The facility where I am a volunteer chaplain is now approximately 50% sex offenders. For the average person, that raises images of pedophiles who have abducted and raped children or perhaps the mom's boyfriend who molested the children while she was at work or the devious old man who exposed himself throughout the neighborhood. Sex offenses are so much more complicated and sometimes trite than we actually know.
Do you know that if a man (or woman) took a leak in the park and got caught, that it is addressed as a sex offense? Any crime that involves the exposure of genitalia is included. What about the boyfriend who is 17 with a girlfriend who is 15 or 16 and once he turns 18 and the momma gets mad with with him and has him charged with a sex offense? His life is virtually destroyed for the momentary rage of a mom who couldn't get him to cut the grass or give her some money.
Where is the balance?
What about the man who committed an offense as a kid and has never had a repeat episode but because the sex offender laws have a retroactive reach, he cannot now be around his own children. Nevermind that the original offense was 25 years ago.
Well, let's search this out and talk about this topic. There is definitely a need for sex offender laws. This is a sexualized nation. Our media is full of it. Burger King can sexualize Sponge Bob with booty commercials and have no consequences regarding children and sex, but we ignore that and call it pop culture. Every major clothing line markets sexualized attire for the smallest children, but we call that style and fashion. This nation lives a double standard at every level. We have voided the law of the spirit and are left to live with the laws of the land.
Above all else, stay humble, repent when necessary, apologize and be at peace. Give God the glory. Walk in praise. Let your life be your greatest sound of worship. Appreciate family. Say please and thank you. Prayer is really the most important thing. Pray.
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